Tarzan Lord of the Pine Jungle
The story starts in a small white block house surrounded by bamboo, pines, and the sound of screaming bluejays. This is one of Tarzan’s first memories. He howls like a wolf…the urge just takes him,so he howls. This becomes a morning and evening ritual for him.
The hallway leading to the kitchen seems enormously long and full of dangerous portent as he goes in search of his breakfast. He hopes it’s oatmeal with milk and cinnamon sugar…he loves that. The pungent smell of coffee makes him salivate. To this day he loves coffee and cannot seem to get enough of it. The darker and richer the flavor…the better.
What would Tarzan do? Why first he would get Cheetah, his faithful sidekick…so he goes into the side bedroom and wakes his brother. A poor excuse for Cheetah admittedly, but in the moment the best facsimile he can produce. Jane is his warm soft feather pillow and his imagination is fully capable of the transformation. It is always ready to invent and color this world into the ones he dreams.
Oatmeal! And yes…perfectly done to Tarzan’s satisfaction. Cheetah is still not quite awake and mumbles something unintelligible in chimpanzee.
Jane is left behind for this adventure, much to his protests…due to sanitary conditions imposed by Mother. Once she is safely back in the treehouse of his single bed with it’s warm patchwork quilt for company, Tarzan resumes his meal of now slightly congealed somewhat colder oatmeal.
Cheetah has rubbed the sleep from his eyes and is chattering staccato to one of the natives in the form of Tarzan’s shorter smaller sister who squints evilly at him and delivers curt disparagements aimed at puncturing Tarzan’s ego, so Tarzan howls like the wolf much to the dismay of all at the small table and earns him the reprieve of said cold oatmeal, to be shooed outside to play…minus Cheetah and the evil native who squints.
This bothers Tarzan not at all, and within minutes he is climbing his favorite tree to rule the piney jungle and not fall and break his arm as has been sagely foretold by the Jungle council in the form of Mother and aforesaid evil native who squints. The climbing into the jungle canopy proves to be a wise decision as Tarzan discovers he was being stalked by a lioness in the form of his Mother’s favorite skinny Siamese cat who no doubt intended to digest Tarzan along with her diet of Nine-Lives Seafood flavored jungle chow.
At the farthest realm of the jungle, visible through the green jungle needles on whose branches are covered in sticky sap that Tarzan usually makes his poisonous darts from…a hippo is bathing in a crocodile infested mud puddle disguised as a fat German Shepard belonging to the neighbors and who is currently rolling happily in mud and brown water.
There is sudden movement close by Tarzan’s head, a flash of screaming blue, and Tarzan barely has time to duck as the protector of a nest of baby jays swoops past in attack. Only Tarzan’s keen eye and razor honed reflexes have saved him from imminent doom in the form of completing the oracle of broken limbs as the screaming blue pterodactyl swoops past and down, and is immediately pounced upon by the lioness, who runs away growling with her prize grasped firmly in her mouth.
Cheetah and the evil native who squints, scamper out of the battered screen door that sees much action in a day’s time, and make irritating noises about playing baseball in the neighbor’s yard, or playing Barbies at the end of the gravel driveway…but Tarzan ignores the screech of the jungle, and climbs higher to attempt a rescue of some orphaned little ones who must be led out of this savage garden and be hand fed worms, until they are able to fend for themselves. Later that night, Tarzan sheds many tears for the loss of their Mother at the hands of the lioness. He howls a mournful howl and snuggles up with tear streaked face in Jane’s feathery embrace, and falls asleep, to no doubt dream of new adventures with Cheetah and the evil native who squints.
Bobby W. Lee